Background (in swedish)My name is Frida Blomgren and I was born in Stockholm, Sweden in august 1979. My mum went past her due-date with three weeks and I continued to make a resistance even when the labours started. I have with gallows-humour said about this‘ Maybe I knew what was awaiting me’
What was awaiting me was a childhood with two younger siblings with infinite needs of attention, time and care.
My sister Sara was born in january 1982. We had just moved to a house in the countryside north of Uppsala. Saras development was normal during her first year and on her first birthday she ate the cake with her own hands. But her physical development stagnates
and after another couple of months it starts to regress.. At the age of 2½ years, Sara gets the diagnosis of Rett Syndrome. Rett Syndrome is an unusual neurological disorder seen almost exclusively in females. The disorder results in a combination of difficult functional disabilities. For me as a sister this situation involves going from beeing the first child to becoming a very big sister with sad parents.
4½ years later, in october 1986, our brother arrives. He does this with great drama. He takes his first breath of air a second to early and is deprived of oxygen when his little lungs are filled with amniotic fluid and his own excrement. For several weeks his condition is critical, but Viktor, wich means victory, survives. For me, this is my first strongest memory of my childhood. My longed for brother is close to death, I am seven years old and I somehow realise that my childhood is now definitly over.
Viktor arrives home and grows to be a real little charmer, with a lot of energy in his legs. Maybe a little bit to much, he never has the calm to sit down. When he starts school it is a disaster, and the realisation that his problem is bigger than anyone has wanted to see is there. After many backs and forths it is established that he has ADHD. His time in school is plauged with problems and meeting of crisis.
In the middle of this chaos that during a long time was our everyday life, there is me, bigsister. The oldest and the healthy one, I keep my hurt feelings of beeing constantly neglected to myself, the biggest reason beeing that I didn’t want to load more problems on to my parents. I become the capable big sister, but I love my siblings over everything else.
When I am seventeen I move away from home. Less than two years later, I move again, this time to Scotland. I enjoy my life there and stay for almost five years. In may of 2003, after beeing back in Sweden for six months, Sara moves in with me and I become her full-time individual aid.
I have always enjoyed writing and often it was the only way for me to express my feelings during my childhood. The idea to publish some of my poems actually came from my mum, who thought that they may be of comfort to others. I published the book ’Syster sällsynt & jag’ (the title in english would be ’Sister rare & me’) in december 2004. An extended version was published in the autum of 2007. I started to lecture about the siblings role in early 2005. Nursing staff, teachers, parents and siblings are common listeners. The intrest in the subject is just getting bigger, and a lot of people are bringing the subject up for discussion.
After 3½ years together, my sister and I moved apart. The job as her aid brought me lots of laughter and stimulation but that was also energy-demanding.The best and the hardest thing I have ever done. Now we are back to 'just' beeing sisters, and she lives in a care home.
Writing is my big interest and in my spare time I run my own comapny with lectures and writing.
Becasue I grew up with siblings with functional disabilities, I think my patience and compassion with other people has grown. Even if my childhood was difficult, I have had the ability to turn around a lot of the hard things I experienced to something I can use in a positive way. My siblings are special in many ways, and they have thought me a lot about life, and about myself.
My book of poems is only available in swedish, but I would be able to do lectures in english, so please contact me if there is an interest about that or if you have any other questions!
Frida Blomgren
Tel: +46 18 322801
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